Chapter 62

Karen and her friends were at Pops when she got a text from Sidney asking her to meet him outside. She told her friends she’d be back and left to meet him. Karen saw Sidney over by the side of the building waiting for her.

“Hey, why didn’t you just come in?” Karen asked as she approached him but Sidney moved away from her. “What’s going on Sid?”

“This isn’t working the way I thought it would. I think we need to slow things down and take a break from each other.”

Karen didn’t say anything but she just watched Sidney’s face as he spoke. He never really looked at her as he kept talking.

“Training camp is about to get under way and I’ve got a lot of things going on right now that I can’t afford to be distracted by anyone. I think its best that we don’t see each other for awhile until things settle down and the season really gets going. I’m sorry, but it’s what needs to happen right now.”

Sidney was expecting Karen to yell or argue with what he said, but when he finally did look at her he wasn’t expecting for what she did do.

Karen was looking down at the ground when Sidney said the last part. She was more willing herself not to cry than truly listening but the gist of it was he was breaking up with her. There was nothing she really could say or do to change his mind and all she could muster out was “fine”. It was barely audible but Sidney heard her. Karen didn’t say anything else nor did she want to stay to hear anything else from him so she turned around and walked back into Pops.

Sidney stood there and couldn’t believe she didn’t fight him on his decision. He wanted to know what she was thinking but the fact still remained…he hurt her. Sidney wanted to go inside and explain why he had to do this but deep down, he knew Karen already knew. He knew if he approached it differently he wouldn’t have been able to break up with her because he still loved her. Sidney walked to his car and headed home.

Karen had made it back inside and to the table with her friends. They asked if Sidney was joining them and she told them what happened. Karen figured it was best to play it that he needed time to get his head straight for the season and said they would still see each other and that she understood that Sidney needed to concentrate on everything. Karen hid her true feelings well enough infront of her friends, but when she got home it would be another story.

A few days later Karen was on the porch when she called Stacy. She needed some advice and knew she could help.

“Hello.”

“Hey girl, got time to talk?”

“For my best friend always, what’s going on?”

“Sid and I broke up well actually he broke it off with me.”

“Kiki I am so sorry. How are you handling it?”

“Not good” as tears started to form in her eyes “I thought we were perfect together you know. He made me happy again.”

“I know he did sweetie. We all saw it, the love between you two. Did he give you a reason?”

“Yeah he did, he said he needed some space right now to focus on training camp and the upcoming season.”

“Um, if he wanted space, why did he have to break up with you? You only saw each other on the weekends anyway.”

“Exactly and that got me thinking to when I went to visit him this summer. His parents practically gave me the same speech and how I should back off so he doesn’t ruin his career.”

“They actually said that to you?”

“That and other things basically I am no good for their son and they were very vocal in telling me.”

“Where was Sid when they were doing this?”

“Sometimes he was there, he was in another room at other times. I just don’t get it Stac, Sid said it himself that even if they didn’t approve we weren’t going to worry about what they thought and just be together. Apparently he didn’t mean it.”

“Didn’t he leave his dad at the airport to spend your birthday with you?”

“Yes.”

“His parents probably filled his head after you left and he’s taking the easy way out to get them off his back. Sidney will come around girl, just let him have this now and he’ll come back to you when the season settles down.”

“I hope you’re right.”

As she was on the phone, she saw Sidney jog past but was on the other side of the street. Karen looked away and tried to finish her conversation.

Sidney made his way back towards Mario’s when he saw Karen was still out on the porch. It looked like she was on the phone. It had been a few days since the night at Pops when he broke it off with her. He went against his better judgment and headed towards Karen’s house.

Karen saw Sidney coming towards her “Stac, can I call you back in a little bit?”

“Sure, I’ll be home all night. Talk to you later.”

“Bye” Karen hung up and put her cell phone in her pocket as she stood up when Sidney came up on the porch “hey.”

“Hey, got a minute?”

“Actually I don’t.” Karen walked passed him only to be stopped when Sidney put his hand on the screen door so Karen couldn’t open it. “What do you want Sid?”

“I just want to talk.”

“What else could you possibly have to say to me?”

“From your reaction the other night I think I need to explain why I had to do it.”

“Then explain it because I don’t understand any of this.”

“It was just the easiest way I knew to tell you and not hurt you.”

“Is that how your parents saw it?” Karen saw the expression on Sidney’s face change. “You channel your parents really well there. Did any of that actually come from you?”

“Maybe some of what they said is true.”

“Really, did I ever pressure you about anything that we both weren’t ready for?”

“No.”

“Did I ever make it seem like I wanted anything from you?”

“No.”

“Did I ever give you the impression that being with you was anything more than just wanting to be with you?”

“No.”

“Then I don’t know if I will ever understand it but if this was truly YOUR decision than I will try.”

Sidney didn’t respond with words instead he lightly pushed Karen up against the screen door and kissed her. He deepened the kiss and Karen wrapped her hands around his neck and played with his hair. Sidney broke the kiss and put his forehead to hers “I’m sorry but this is what I need right now.” His kissed her once more and then left.

Karen stood there stunned for a minute before she headed inside. She shut the door and the tears fell. All her anger from the past few days came out as she picked up the vase on the table by the door and threw it making it shatter. She fell to the floor crying hysterically realizing it was indeed over with Sidney.

A week had gone past and the Pens would be playing their first preseason game against Tampa Bay. Next week the players and coaches would be heading to Sweden to start the season against the Ottawa Senators for two games. Sidney had asked Karen to go when the families went over when they were together but she decided it was best if she hadn’t.

During the summer Karen had found out that Rick took the Assistant Coach position with Tampa Bay and knew he’d be in for the game.

Karen’s friends had come up early so they could go to an early dinner before heading to the arena. They could sense something was bothering her.

“What is wrong girl? You are usually more excited for a hockey game.” Diane asked

“I know, I guess I just have a lot on my mind. I am excited about the game and when the puck drops I will be into it I swear.”

“NO, no, no. Something is definitely going on. Spill it?” Sheril said getting a laugh out of her.

“Rick’s in town tonight” Karen said matter-of-factly.

“How the hell is he in town?”

“He is now one of the assistant coaches with the Lightning. I haven’t seen or heard from him in 12 years. I don’t know how it’s going to hit me when I do finally see him.”

That was all that was said as their food came. They continued to talk about random things during dinner and afterwards when they made their way to the arena. When they got to the arena, there weren’t many people which for a preseason game was understandable. The girls watched some of the players come in and Karen was thankful that Sidney was already there when she got there and didn’t see him. A few minutes later, they saw the bus pull in and realized it was the Lightning players. They watched them pile out of the bus and a lump caught in Karen’s throat when she saw Rick step off.

“Damn girl, the man still looks smokin’ hot.”

“Thanks Sheril, I didn’t notice” she said with a hint of sarcasm.

“She’s right though, coaching seems to agree with him.”

Karen just laughed it off and shook the thoughts out of her head. They stayed there watching until the doors opened.

Meanwhile inside the arena…

Rick was walking out of the visitor’s locker room and spotted an old friend.

“Mario” he said as he saw him walking down the hallway “how have you been?”

“Good actually, how was the move to Tampa?”

“It’s been great actually. Going to miss coaching beside Gretz, but change is always good.”

“Well you need to do what’s right for you.”

“Don’t I know it. How are Nathalie and the kids?”

“They are great as always. Maybe one time during the regular season you can stop for dinner before a game.”

“I’d like that. Um, have you heard from or seen Karen lately?”

“Actually, I have. She’s living in her parents’ house down the street from me. I’ve seen a good bit of her for the last couple months. She should be here tonight since she has season tickets.”

“Same seats as when we were dating?”

“I believe so. When she left with you, she kept her seats but let friends use them so she wouldn’t lose them. She’s probably there now if you want I can send someone to get her for you.”

“If you don’t mind, I would like to see her.”

Mario just smiled at his friend and found one of the security guys to go find Karen.

Karen was sitting in her seat with Sheril talking when one of the security guys found her and asked her to come with him. Sheril gave her a look and mouthed “Sid” before she got up and left. As they walked down to the locker rooms, Karen wondered if it was Sidney that wanted to see her but as she got closer she found it was someone else.

“Hey beautiful.”

“Hey Rick. I heard you were with Tampa now.”

“Yeah, needed a change.”

“Looks like the change agrees with you. You look good.”

“Thanks. You still look great, of course you always did.”

“You’re still the charmer I see, but thank you.” Karen saw the guys start to leave the locker room for warm ups “I think I’m going to let you go so you can get what you need done.”

“With the guys heading out to the ice, why don’t we head in to talk?”

Karen was hesitant at first, but went inside the locker room with him and sat down on one of the benches.

“So, what could we possibly have to talk about?” she said with a small laugh.

“I think we have a lot to talk about.”

Karen looked directly at him “you really want to get into this now?”

“I’m sorry how things ended with us, I really am. I never wanted to hurt you like that.”

“Well you did” she said softly looking at the floor. “I changed my life for you and it really didn’t seem to matter to you.”

“I had a lot going on after being traded to LA and I thought having you there with me would have made it feel like nothing changed. But when everything started to go I told myself to not take it out on you because I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Yeah because shutting me out was so much better” Karen said getting up “I knew something was wrong and everytime I tried to get you to open up to me, you’d shut me out more. I was there for you but you didn’t see it that way.”

“I know and I’m sorry. If I could turn back time to fix everything I would, but I can’t. What’s done is done, you left and I had to kick myself everyday for being so stupid for letting you go.”

“You let me go? That’s funny considering I didn’t think you cared that I left.”

“Well if you would have waited until I got back from our road trip, I would have cared.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I realized how much of an ass I was being and while I was gone I had every intention of coming back and begging you to forgive me for everything. But when I got back you were already gone.”

“You know if you would have called me to tell me this, I would’ve stayed around but even now with everything that happened those last few months I don’t think our relationship was repairable.” Karen said as tears started to form in her eyes.

“Because of the baby?” he said getting up and walking over to her.

Karen looked up at him and was about to say something when she heard the guys coming back in from warm ups. She wiped under her eyes and stepped back from him “I think I need to go.”

Karen walked out of the locker room and down the hall with Rick behind her. He grabbed her arm to stop her short of the Pens locker room.

“Meet me after the game tonight. We need to finish this.”

“Aren’t you guys flying out tonight?”

“Not until tomorrow morning. Please, we can get something to eat maybe a couple drinks and finish what we started.”

“Ok. I’ll meet you outside after the game” Karen said and walked down the hallway. As she did, she saw some of the players coming towards her. Karen smiled at them and told them good luck but then she saw Sidney heading towards her. Karen’s smile faded and she looked away as she passed him. Sidney stopped and watched her walk away from him knowing that all he wanted to do was run after her. He went into the locker room and sat down wondering if he did the right thing. Karen got back to her seat and told the girls about the talk with Rick and him wanting to meet after the game.

“Are you seriously crazy girl? Why are you putting yourself through this again?”

“I’m not putting myself through anything. The way I left so many things were unresolved between us, I need closure with him.”

“If that’s what she needs, then that’s what she needs to do. I’m just glad we brought both cars.”

“Thanks guys” Karen said smiling at them.

After the game, Karen said goodbye to her friends and waited for Rick to come out. She saw Ryan coming out and he motioned for her. She walked over and hugged him.

“Hey hop-a-long, how’s your foot?”

“It’s doing good. The boot is way more comfortable than crutches though.”

“Well at least you’re not stuck at home going crazy.”

“True. Are you waiting for Sid?”

Karen figured he didn’t say anything to them and wondered if she should, but he broke up with her so why shouldn’t she. “Actually I am waiting for Rick Tocchet.”

“That’s right, you two used to date.”

“Yeah, we’re going to catch up before he leaves tomorrow.”

“Is Sid going with you?”

“Um, Sidney and I aren’t together right now. He broke it off with me before training camp.”

Ryan could see the hurt and sadness in her eyes “I’m so sorry Karen. Did he say why?”

Before Karen got to answer Rick came out and walked over to them. “Hey.”

“You ready to go?”

“Yeah, Rick this is Ryan Whitney. Ryan meet Rick Tocchet.”

“Is nice to meet you” Ryan said as he shook his hand.

“You too, what happened?” Rick asked pointing to his foot.

“I had surgery and I’ll be out probably until December or January.”

“But he’ll be back better than ever though.”

“Stop it, you’re making me blush. You guys go catch up, I’ll talk to you later Karen.”

“Alright Whit, take it easy ok?”

“Ok mom. It was nice to meet you Rick.”

“You too.” Rick said as they went their separate ways.

“Where do you want to go?” Karen asked.

“How about the hotel? We can get something to eat and talk in the restaurant.”

“Sounds good, besides my car is in the parking garage there.”

“You always did park there.”

“It was always easier that way.”

They smiled at each other and continued their walk across the street and down to the hotel. When they went in, they headed to the restaurant and sat towards the back for some privacy.

“I guess this means we have to talk like civilized people.”

“I guess so.”

The waitress came over and Rick ordered their drinks. When she came back, she took their orders.

“My beautiful date will have the Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad with the dressing on the side and I will have the Turkey Club on Wheat.”

The waitress left and Karen sat there smiling at him “you remembered.”

“I still remember a lot of things about you.” Rick said as he reached for her hand to hold it.

Karen looked at their hands together and was going to pull away but decided not to since it felt nice. “You shouldn’t hold on to all those memories.”

“Why not? There were some good times Karen, you have to admit that.”

“We did have fun, especially when you won the cup in ’92.”

“Of course, I also remember what we did with the cup when I had it for the day.”

“Please tell me you’ve never showed those pictures to anyone?”

“Maybe one or two, but it wasn’t my fault. They found them during a party one night but don’t worry, I never told them your name or who you were.”

“I still can’t believe you talked me into taking that picture.”

“It was a picture for me of you and the Stanley Cup I had to make it memorable.”

“Yeah it was memorable alright. I was wearing your jersey and had it rolled up very, very high, a thong and wearing skates. I don’t think anyone would look at the cup with me standing there beside it.”

“It’s one of my favorite pictures of you.”

“I’m sure it is you perv” Karen said laughing.

Soon, their food came and they continued to reminisce about the past. After they ate, Rick paid for the food and they headed upstairs to his room against Karen’s better judgment.

“Mind if I change clothes?”

“No go ahead.”

A few minutes later, Rick came out in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Karen was standing by the window which had a view of the arena. She could see the player’s lot and saw a couple cars still there, but Sidney’s was gone.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

“No, I’m good.”
“You ok?”

“Yeah, I’ve just got a lot going on with work.”

“I don’t think that’s it. Something else is wrong.”

“I wasn’t sure how seeing you tonight was going to make me feel. I was actually debating the entire game if I wanted to do this.”

“Do you really hate me that much Karebear?”

“I haven’t heard that nickname in a long time” Karen smiled when he called her that “and I don’t hate you Rick. I just have all these unresolved feelings about you that I held onto for 12 years. I mean we were friends before we got together and as much as I hated losing you, I hated losing my friend too.”

“I know, I did too but we did love each other right? I mean before everything that happened.”

“Before and after everything Rick” Karen couldn’t stop the tears that wanted to fall and she let them. Rick walked over to her and put his arms around her. Karen fell into them and once again let the feelings she had for him surface.

After a few minutes that seemed longer, Karen looked up at Rick. There was nothing more perfect than when he captured her lips in a kiss. The kiss got a little more heated and intense the longer they were locked together. As they were still attached at the lips, Rick moved them over to the bed. When Karen felt the bed hit her legs, she kneeled up on the bed and laid down bringing Rick with her. Soon clothes were discarded and Karen felt the familiar weight on top of her. Rick moved inbetween her legs and entered her in one swift motion. Karen’s mind was racing with all the feelings she had for him as he moved inside of her. The faster he went and the harder he got with each thrust instantly brought Karen over the edge. She moaned out and her fingernails went deep into his back. After a couple more thrusts, Rick came hard and filled her up with all he had to offer. He collapsed on top of her and Karen just held on to him. Rick propped himself up and looked at Karen before leaning in to kiss her. When they broke apart, they smiled at each other as Rick rolled off her and brought her to him. They fell asleep not too long afterwards.

The next morning, Karen woke up to the phone ringing and realized that she wasn’t at home and it wasn’t Sidney beside her. She saw Rick answer it and then get out of bed heading to the bathroom. Karen assumed it was the wake up service and knew he needed to go. When she heard the shower start up, she looked around the room and a calm came over her. She noticed all the bad feelings she had for Rick were gone. A few moments later, Rick came out of the bathroom.

“Morning beautiful.”

“Morning.”

“You ok with how things turned out from last night?”

“Yeah I am. I didn’t really expect that to happen but it was like…”

“Like it needed to happen as if we closed the book on us.”

“That’s what it feels like exactly.” Karen smiled up at him and got a reassuring smile back.

Rick finished getting ready and Karen wrapped herself in the sheet and started to get dressed.

“Ah, you may want to hold off for a few minutes unless you want to be seen leaving here by all the players.”

“I didn’t think of that.”

“Why don’t you stay and grab a shower before you leave. If you don’t want to leave right away, you have until 11a.”

“Thanks, but I may head out after I know you guys are gone.”

They stood there and just stared at each other until Rick closed the gap between them and kissed her. The kiss still had heat but when they pulled apart they both knew it was the goodbye kiss they needed.

“Maybe when we come back during the season, do you think two friends can get together for dinner?”

“I don’t think I’d want it any other way.”

Rick hugged and kissed her one last time before he left. Karen sat down on the bed and a few tears fell. She looked over on the dresser and saw a shirt. Getting up and walking over to it, Karen picked it up and noticed the Lightning logo on the front and ‘coaching staff’ was on the back. She smiled holding it up to her chest and Karen knew she would be ok. She got her shower and left soon after.

When she got home Karen tried to be quiet but as soon as she turned around her friends were staring directly at her.

“Oh my god you did, didn’t you?” Diane asked with her arms crossed.

“Gee mom, I’m not sure I can crack your code. Do you want to send the other kids out of the room so we can have the birds and the bees talk?” Karen said laughing.

“Did you?”

“Yes we did.”

“Girl, what are you doing to yourself?”

“It wasn’t like that. We were talking and it got emotional. He hugged me and then he kissed me. One thing led to another and we ended up in bed. It was so amazing the man hasn’t lost anything in that department.”

“Well that’s good to know but how did you guys end it?”

“With a hug and a kiss goodbye and as we looked at each other this morning, we both knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That I have my friend back” Karen smiled as she said it. “You guys might not understand but I needed this to close that chapter of my life. There were no hard feelings, actually no feelings of any kind. It’s over.”

Karen went upstairs to change her clothes leaving her three friends baffled at what just happened.