Chapter 63

Karen came back down and saw six pairs of eyes on her. She went to sit down with them in the living room, taking the remote and turning off the tv.

"I think you guys need to know something about what happened with Rick. I never told you guys the whole story about why I left him." Karen took a deep breath "when everything started going bad, I found out I was pregnant. I thought maybe this was what could have brought us back to where we were before he got traded, but it didn't. He didn't seem to care, well at first he did, but not so much afterwards. A few months later, I was shopping with Janet Gretsky and felt a sharp pain. She took me to the hospital but it was to late and I lost the baby. It took Rick about two days before he came to see me and from that I knew I needed to leave him."

"You did the right thing if he was acting like that" Diane said.

"I know I did, but he changed after he got traded and I couldn't stop it. I know he never meant to hurt me and after last night I get that. Maybe I should have let him go first then gone to visit him to see if it was a situation I wanted to be in. Everything that happened was not all on him and I don't want you guys having this bad opinion of him."

"Karen, we're sorry for jumping to conclusions about him but from what you said after you came back, it was just a natural reaction" Natalie commented.

"You guys know how private I am about a lot of things and I was still hurting from having lost not only the person I thought was the love of my life, but my baby too. I didn't want all the sympathy every day until I could let go of it. Last night let me let go of it. Just tell me you guys understand I did what I had to do to get the closure I needed."

Diane got up and went to hug her friend "I'm sorry for being so hard on you. I do understand I just didn't want to see you fall back on that path with him."

"He's on a better path now Di. If the old Rick was anywhere inside that body, he would have came out but he didn't. He was genuinely sorry for how things went. If I would have stayed until he got back from his road trip so we could have talked, I don't know where I'd be today."

"Maybe not here or with Sidney" Sheril chimed in.

Karen didn't want to get into the whole Sidney thing when she didn't even know what was going on with them. She hoped this wasn't going to last long and they would be back together soon so she wouldn't have to explain about him breaking up with her. "Maybe, but you never know."

"Well thank you for telling us about what happened. Rick was always a good person and I can see getting ripped away from friends can change someone."

"I tried to make it work but it wasn't going to happen. But after last night, I have my friend back and right now that is all I wanted" Karen said but then got a faraway look.

"What's the matter?"

"It's nothing. What are we going to do today?"

"We haven't been shopping for a while?" Natalie said cheerfully.

"I'm up for it" Karen said as the others agreed. They all got ready and headed for the mall.

The following week, the team was on its way to Sweden for their two games against Ottawa. Karen had only seen Sidney one other time and it was during the other preseason game at the arena. She tried to not concentrate on him, but the team as a whole to get a feel for how the season would go. Sidney made that a little complicated on her when he would look up to her every chance he had during the game. Karen just wanted him back in her life and his decision to be away from her because of what his parents wanted was killing her. She shook the thoughts from her head when her phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hey Karen, it's Nathalie. How are you?"

"I'm hanging in there. What can I do for you?"

"Well, you can come to Sweden with me for the games."

"Nat, I don't know. I don't think Sidney wants me there."

"Karen, the way he's been mopping around he'd want you there even if he didn't admit it out loud. Besides, it will give me someone to talk to. Please say you'll come with me?"

"Let me see what I can work out at work and I'll let you know."

"That's all I ask. I'll talk to you soon. Bye."

"Bye" Karen hung up and sat there. In a way she wanted to go, but another part of her didn't want to be around Sidney and not be with him. She would decide and let her know later.

Karen had decided to go to Sweden with Nathalie and put in for the time off. She told her friends she was going and they all thought it would be good and maybe her and Sidney could talk. They were leaving soon and just waiting to board the plane. Karen was nervous on the plane ride over to Sweden and Nathalie picked up on it.

“You ok Karen?” Nathalie asked sensing her uneasiness.

“I don’t know if I should have come. Sidney’s not going to want me here and I don’t want to be a distraction for him.”

“Karen, whether you want to believe it or not, Sidney still talks about you. Mario and I both see breaking up with you was a mistake.”

“But does Sidney see it?”

“I think he does. I know he regrets doing what his parents wanted.”

“How did you know this was his parent’s idea and not his?”

“From how he talked about it, we knew it sounded like Troy’s doing. Give Sidney some time girl, he’ll come around.”

“Let’s hope, I do miss him.”

The plane landed hours later and the families headed to the hotel. Being it was the same hotel the players were at Karen knew running into Sidney was inevitable.

On Saturday, Karen went to the arena with Nathalie a couple hours before game time. They met up with Mario and Karen felt a bomb drop in her stomach when she saw Troy talking with him. They headed over against her better judgment.

“Hi honey, Karen glad you decided to come.” Mario said greeting his wife and friend.

“Yeah I wasn't until I had some very strong persuasion. I don’t see how you win arguments in your house.”

“I usually don’t.”

Karen looked at Troy before excusing herself to look around. She wasn’t about to stand around and make nice and the less time she was around him the better. Karen walked around and ended up down by the locker rooms. She had a pass so no one would tell her to leave but she didn’t want to be in the way either. As she was walking past the Pens locker room, she saw a couple of the players head in. Karen got hugs from Jordan and Max and the surprised look on Evgeni’s face was priceless. She didn’t keep them knowing they needed to get focused and ready. When she was starting her trek back upstairs, she ran directly into Troy who was coming down to see Sidney.

“Didn’t think you would be here Karen?”

“Sidney did invite me when we were dating.”

“But since you’re not dating anymore, don’t you think you shouldn’t have come?”

“I’m here because Nathalie asked me.”

Meanwhile, Marc-Andre was walking past them and saw how heated the conversation was getting. Karen saw him and when he went into the locker room he decided to involve someone else.

“Hey Sid, I didn’t realize Karen was coming over for the games.”

Sidney sat in his stall stunned.

“Yeah Jordan and I saw her a few minutes ago too” Max added.

“Where was she?”

“Walking past the locker room.”

“Yeah but now your dad seemed to have found her. It didn’t look like it was going very good.”

Sidney stood up and practically ran out of the room. He saw his dad and Karen in the hallway and by the look of it, Karen was on the verge of tears. He got closer without being seen but could hear what was going on.

“If you would just admit it to yourself that it’s over Karen you might be able to move on?”

“You’re proud of yourself aren’t you? Being able to still control your son’s life has you sleeping well at night, doesn’t it? And for your information I have admitted it to myself that it’s over…but it doesn’t mean that it hurts any less.” Karen walked away only to be met with Sidney’s arm that came out and stopped her. “Let me go Sid” she whispered looking up at him with tears flowing down her cheeks. He moved his arm and let her go walking over to his dad.

“You seriously can’t leave well enough alone can you dad? I broke up with her like you and mom wanted but that doesn’t mean she is going to cease to exist.”

“Look Sid, I was shocked when I saw her and maybe I overreacted.”

“Not maybe dad, you did overreact. When I broke up with her I know I hurt her but you reminding her doesn’t help the situation.”

“I’m sorry alright. When I see her I will apologize to her ok?”

“Ok. I need to get ready so I will see you after the game.”

“Good luck son.”

They hugged and parted ways.

Karen had walked around until game time. She liked to just watch all the people who come to hockey games and the Swedes were not different. When she knew the game was about to begin, she found Nathalie and Mario, sitting down with them. She saw Troy was on the other side of Mario and she was happy to have seats inbetween them. The game went on and the Pens won the first one. Karen opted to head to the hotel then go down to the locker room with Mario to congratulate the guys.

“Sidney, great game”

“Thanks Mario. Didn’t Karen come down with you?”

“No, she went back to the hotel. I don’t think she wanted to be around certain people. She’ll be ok, go get your shower and head back to the hotel.”

“Yeah, ok.”

Sidney got his shower and met up with the team to head back to the hotel. When Sidney got to his room, he couldn’t sit still. He needed to find Karen and talk to her. He found Mario’s room and asked Nathalie if she knew what room Karen was in. Nathalie didn’t want to give up her room number but she knew Sidney would knock on every family member’s door to find her. She told him the room number and he thanked her then left.

Karen had gotten out of the shower and put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. When she looked in the mirror to comb her hair, she smiled realizing she had on one of Sidney’s shirts. Karen closed her eyes and remembered the day he gave it to her. She was brought out of her thoughts when there was a light knock on her door. Karen thought it might be Nathalie so she didn’t bother to look through the peep hole and just opened the door. Karen’s heart stopped when she saw Sidney standing in the hallway.

“Sid? What are you doing here?”

“I was hoping we could talk. Can I come in?”

Karen moved out of the way and Sidney walked in. He saw what she had on and smiled.

“Nice shirt. I’ve been looking for that one.”

“You gave it to me remember.”

“No, I gave it to you to wear for the day. You assumed I gave it to you to keep.”

“Do you want it back?”

“Maybe some day I will want it back, but I think it looks good on you.”

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

“We’ll talk in a minute, there’s something I need to do first.”

“Which is what?”

Sidney walked over to her and pulled her to him kissing her. Karen was about to move away but his kiss surrendered her to him. She brought her hands up to Sidney’s neck and let her fingers play with the bottom of his hair. Karen felt Sidney’s tongue lightly move over her bottom lip and she granted him access. As the kiss deepened, Sidney moved them closer to the bed but Karen stopped him and pulled away but Sidney kept his arms around her.

“I’m sorry it’s just when I saw that you were here, I couldn’t help myself.”

“It’s ok. Is that what you wanted to talk to me about or was there something else?”

“Why did you decide to come over for the games?”

“I wasn’t going to but Nathalie talked me into coming over with her. She is a very persuasive woman.”

“Yeah she can be.”

"I think she had an ulterior motive for me coming over though."

“Which was?”

“This. I guess she figured that if we saw each other we might talk.”

“Well we are in the same room and it does appear that we are talking.”

“We might be talking but nothing is really being said.”

“I know.”

Karen removed herself from his arms and walked away from him. “Things just can’t go back exactly how they were.”

“They might be able to. If not today, then one day after the season gets going.”

“I don’t know Sid. I don’t know if I can risk the heartache of us getting back together and then your parents ripping us apart again.”

“I won’t let that happen again.”

“You never stopped it from happening in the first place Sid. I thought we’d be together even if they didn’t approve.”

“My dad helps control the hockey side of my life…”

“Sounds like he has full control of your personal life too" Karen saw his expression change "look, I’m sorry ok, it was never my intention to get into this with you now."

“You’re just so angry with me.”

“And that’s what’s killing me because of how much I love you. We barely saw each other as it was Sid and if you needed full concentration during camp you knew I would have given it to you.

“I know you would have.”

“You just couldn’t tell your parents that.”

“What do you want me to do Karen?”

Karen closed her eyes and took a deep breath “I want you to go back to your room and do what you told me you needed to do. If me being here caused any distraction I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention. Take your time and space that you need and when you get it figured out, call me.”

She walked over to the door and opened it to give Sidney the hint. He walked towards her and took the door out of her hand, letting it shut “If I do get this figured out, will you be there when I call you?”

“Yes” Karen said it in a whisper but Sidney heard her loud and clear. He leaned into her and pulled her into his body kissing her.

“Night.”

“Night Sid.”

Sidney opened the door and left, leaving Karen to fall against it more confused than before.